happy

I instantly hear the faint meowing of my cat in the background. I take a step back, as my eyes search for the mirror. I stared at myself blankly without setting any emotions. The pills scattered to the floor. 4 pills have been swallowed and the effects were kicking in. I was feeling very stoned at the time of 843 in the morning. its been days since i slept. I had the urge to take the scissors and cut my hair. i thought of the cool wind through my hair. 14 was my lucky number. I felt drowsy and i fell to the floor. My mouth was dry from the heat of the toilet. I filled up my empty cup with the cold tap water.i cupped my hands and scooped up the remaining pills from the floor and downed another 7 pills. 3 more to go. i started choking from the amount of pills going down my throat and i vomited endlessly into the toilet bowl. the pills gushed out of my mouth. i felt the urge to pick the pills from the vomit invested water . i ate the pills once more. i stood up dizzy and took the remaining 3 pills into my bedroom and ate them one by one.
I lay down and my eyes started to close, and i thought what an accomplishment i have made, eating 14 sleeping pills. Soon my mind drifted off.
But i was safe now.This was the most heavenly way to die.

lethargic

just woke up at 230, wasted my entire weekend, no one to hang out with, becuase they are all so so busy with their lives, i probably think marisse is avoiding me again. clarice is pissed with me, and i feel like my school friends are just plain mean, oh well at least i have my cat. i just hope clarice wont be angry at me forever.. i really do love her as a best friend and i hope she will stop hanging out with bryan. ugh i know he hates me , but whatever, hannah is real nice, shes nice to talk too, but i am not suppose to talk to her becuase shes clarices friend not mine..... i already unfriended all of her friends so that she can be happy, god why does 13 have to be so hard.

redish purple

my hair is now utterly damaged due to unauthorised colouring due to my lack of knowlage, and plus my spelling for this isnt even proper. Well now my hair has turned out a colour which i dont even know how to explain, lets just call it redish purple. My senses have now only kicked in which i now realise that i have school this  monday. i feel blogging gives me freedom to write whatever i want to say only in type form. my vocabulary is not that good, since i am only 13. my cat is weird, it brings me dead lizards and flies below my bed.. i feel like this is his gift to me after almost snapping my hand off. anyways see ya wouldnt wanna be ya