alone

i was sitting alone at the park smoking today and i was finally able to be alone with m thoughts. i realized that i have nobody. it is a very sad thing to say but its true. after 9 months i finally saw that everyone in my life is gone. i used to call everyone to meet me but my friend marisse told me they should be the ones calling me, wanting me to hang out with them. i really hated everyone at the time and at the end of the day i knew i was alone and all i had left with me was myself. i am completely done with life. i dont really want to live anymore but somehow i want to prove to people i am not just some annoying pretty girl. i want to learn and study and show them i am something more than just that. i am going to make that happen because i know i am better than them. i know it.